I spent a solid week in San Francisco exploring the city as much as I could. I love it here and will be here for a while. It is a beautiful and lively city full of interesting people, on the ocean, close to mountains and there is an abundance of job opportunities for what I do. Also, it is where I was when I realized I was done traveling.
This trip is, without question, the best thing I have ever done for myself and I know that I will travel on my own again in the future. Solo travel is incredibly empowering and allows you to be selfish in all the right ways: to go where you want and do whatever you want on a given day whether that is climbing a mountain, jumping off the side of one, listening to priests chant in French, drinking with locals or being lazy in a park. There is no compromising required with your travel mates, no one else's preferences to have to consider, no one to convince that the clock tower will be there to climb tomorrow rather than today (or maybe not at all since you've already climbed five others in different towns). Being on your own forces you to be more outgoing, to be open to doing new things and meeting new people all which build up your confidence and self-reliance to amazing heights.
It is also exhausting. Traveling alone means that while you don't have to worry about anyone else, there is also no one to worry about you. There is no one to make sure you get off the train at the right stop, no one to make the hot 3 mile walk to a bike shop to fix a flat tire less miserable, no one to ask you for the 4th time in a day whether you have your passport or to suppress their laughter when you are failing miserably at asking a question of someone who has no idea what you're saying to them. There is a constant vigilance required that wears on you after a while, or at least it wore on me, and driving down the Oregon coast I knew I was done.
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| Lands End at Sunset |
It was commented by several people that it took courage for me to leave my job and travel around alone. For most of the trip, I didn't believe that to be true. It was easy to walk away once I knew I could afford it and exciting traveling around with not much more to think about than where I wanted to be next and whether a third cappuccino in a day was really a good idea. There were difficult moments, but they were difficult because of logistical headaches or because I was in a small town on a Sunday where nothing was open. There was nothing that ever tested any internal resolve. Until now.
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| Sunset at Half Moon Bay |
Now I know what I want and where I want to be, am not there yet and getting there is only partially in my control. The impatient and control freak parts of my personality bubble up and growl at me and I have to not be too Veruca Salt about the whole thing and will myself to be patient.
I find myself craving simple things like cooking a meal for a friend or hanging out with a bunch of people watching a movie. Both of which I was able to do in San Francisco and loved for the fact that they were things that people do when they live somewhere.
I'm still exploring as I work on getting settled. I am sitting in a vineyard in Napa as I write this and have a 3 day hiking trip in Tahoe this week so I'm not stopping just yet, but I am actively working on wrapping things up...at least until next time. Any takers on a backpacking trip in Patagonia?
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